Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Who loves Christmas more than shoplifters?

I do! It's my chance to raise the Security Tag Bat-signal over the city and say "watch out prospective theft doers, I will thwart your evil plans". My fellow used Sensormatic and Checkpoint Tags superheroes and I are determined to bring retailers low priced high quality retail security tags.

**Trivia question =
What Movie actor said...
"Do it, do it, doo it."

Which used supertags hero will know the answer?

Friday, November 18, 2005

Security tags - The Next Generation: A thorn on every rose - act II

Captain's log, November 19, 3782:
While orbiting Celeinos Alpha Two and planning the rescue of Ensign Mootel and Commander McTaggers we received a communique from the Sess Empire. They claim to have lost communication and knowledge of the whereabouts of one of their Stealth Destroyers. Sess destroyers are renowned through out the universe for their lethality. One rogue ship could touch off a blaze that will rock the foundation of peace in the Delta quadrant. I have decided to take the ship and search out this destroyer. Mootel and McTaggers will have to face down ShockTrooper Marly on their own until this Sess ship can be found.

Inside the Pirate's bar, Blue beards - Southern Main Island:Celeinos Alpha Two

Commander McTaggers:
Have you ever tasted such sweet gallepa wine, Mootel?

Ensign Mootel:
Bllllhhhhhhhch. This is what heaven must be like. The wine is sweet. The women are beautiful. None of the retail stores use Sensormatic security tags, so shoplifting is easy. If they raise my limit at the Casino, life'll be perfect.

Commander Mctaggers:
How did we get here again?

Ensign Mootel:
Who cares? We're here now.

ShockTrooper Marly(in her office watching the Bar on HDTV CCTV via HD satellite Feed):
Hho, hho, hho, my plan is working. hho, hho, hho. We will soon gain the secrets of Federation retail security tags. Loss prevention security measures will be no match for our shoplifting power.


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Friday, November 11, 2005

Commercial interlude

What happened to the old time commercials?

If you want to sell me a wrench, don't show a clip of a laser running along the border of a floating orb, while drums melodically pound in the background. Show me an old man wearing overalls with greasy hands wiping a wrench with a rag, and let him tell me why it's a good wrench.

You want a good commercial? Here you go.

Will our used sensormatic tag Superheroes save the day? Will Mctaggers survive the wrath of ShockTrooper Marly? Is ensign Mootel really going to just wait for the captain instead of taking matters into his own hands? Discover the answers to these questions, and so much more when you join us for the next installment of, Security tags - The Next Generation: A thorn on every rose, brought to you by Used sensormatic retail security tags.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Security tags - The Next Generation: A thorn on every rose

Captain's log, November 2, 3782:
We have been circling the wayward outpost of celeinos alpha two, for almost a month now. The governing council of this retailing colony has taken commander McTaggers hostage in what they would call a last ditch attempt to wrest the secrets of Federation retail security guidelines away from us. I have ordered my crew to engage any threat that breaches our safety zone, while Ensign Mootel leads an away team to the surface of this moon in an attempt to rescue our first officer.

Ensign Mootel:
I demand to speak to the ambassador.

ShockTrooper Marly:
You can demand anything you like, but will receive no cooperation until we learn your retail security secrets.

Ensign Mootel:
Federation retail security tags information is not something we will ever bargain with. Our merchants depend on electronic article surveillance equipment that is cutting edge and reliable. We always deliver! Our reputation and ability to protect against shoplifting will never be sacrificed, even for our own people. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. It's simple math. One in exchange for many.

ShockTrooper Marly:
So you know you will never see Mctaggers again and you don't care hmmmm. I guess will just have to keep you here with us also. Guards seize him.

Ensign Mootel:
The Captain'll deal with you Marly. Don't think your gonna get away with............